When the mind is weak, it gets involved in all the negative emotions. Fear of unknown that was lying at every step, took me deeper and deeper into the dark realms of negativity. With every thought that made me anxious, fear started to haunt me every now and then. Umpteen times, I tried to avoid it, ignore it, but ignorance is not bliss always. The word fear is both a noun and a verb: the structure itself and the act of making it.
We become aware of our fears when we are ready to let go. There I was, ready to let go of my fear of the dark. It was time to face the fears.
It was a long weekend and we planned a trip to a nearby hill station.
We stopped at a restaurant. Beside the menu on the wall, there was an arrow and a sign board that caught our attention. A small sign board read: entry ticket- ten rupees per person.
“It will take ten minutes. It’s a natural cave so there is very little light, but you must go inside and see for once.” said the lady sitting behind the counter while looking at us.
“Sounds interesting!” exclaimed my daughter. “Let’s go inside!” She was holding her dad’s hand.
“What is there inside this cave?” I asked out of curiosity.
“A small idol of the lord .Shall I give you the ticket? You must visit this place. It will take only ten minutes.” She insisted.
“It’s too dark inside, it seems.” I was almost frozen with fear.
“Do you fear the dark?” she asked.
“Yes, I do!” I sighed.
My husband and daughter were already waiting for me to say yes.
I heard a comforting voice of my husband.
“We are there with you. Hold my hand and come.” He said.
I was almost talking to myself.
All of a sudden, I remembered, my friend had said a few days back, “Whenever you find yourself in dark, remember you are the light.” She had also asked me to keep chanting a mantra.
I said yes and we bought the tickets.
“Remember, it’s one way, and there is a small patch towards the end where there is no light. You’ll have to come out of dark through this opening.” That lady pointed out to the other end of the tunnel.
Anxiously, I took the first step, and almost lost my balance on uneven stairs of stone and mud, that was slippery because of natural presence of water inside that cave.
When we are stuck in the middle of the path, it’s better to move forward and explore the possibilities. Many other emotions crop up with fear. It was difficult for me to breathe. I kept moving forward, struggling to make it through.
“Here’s the idol. We have come halfway!” Both of them seemed to be happy.
There I was standing in front of the idol of Lord Shiva and all the fears vanished. Though it was dark but I could feel that energy. It had filled the space and conquered all my fears in that moment.
We stopped there for some time, prayed a little, and came out of the dark through a small opening. It was an opportunity for growth and understanding that I would have missed!
~~payal~~
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