This too shall pass

 

 

 



Goa, 2016

 

 

Random clicks when put together gave me a clear message. This is how God talks to us sometimes, or so I believe.  I am always in awe of such wondrous ways messages that we need in the moment are revealed to us. Yes, with you dear God, as they say, everything is possible.

"Anyone can wear one, but can you bear one?" With power comes responsibilities. When our light goes astray.. We have to bear the cross, To keep darkness at bay.

 

2016 image

 

No matter how strong we are, at times we all feel weak and need support. Then, every ray of light matters! A genuine support is all that is needed.When we love and care for someone, being present  with our light in the time of need is more important than being together in person.Thank you all for your positivity and for the wonderful support that I received, when  my light was getting dim, and I needed it the most.

~~payal~~

This is just a grain of sand. I have seen a sand-dune.
 

#writingwednesdays

 

 

 

 

Memories connect #MondayMusings

Krishnakamal, Panchgani, 2014

 

I wonder how one memory brings in another, and we dive deep in the pool of thoughts. Often we call it contemplation. While remembering a friend of mine in Dehradun, whom I couldn’t meet this time, I remembered a flower in her garden, Krishnakamal.

 I remember how I got fascinated by the charm of this flower when I saw it for the first time in Panchgani, in 2014. It was raining that day.

 I had a picture that I clicked then, so I started looking out for the picture of this flower in my saved photographs.

While looking at this flower, all of a sudden memories took me to the day when randomly I had picked up a book in the central library sometime during these days, way back in 2012.  Jayadev’s “Geet Govind.” I remember that strange awkward feeling of restlessness that had engulfed me when I read the first stanza of the book, strange sense of longing and belonging prevailed. I could feel the pain! That place was too sacred, and I was all in tears and literally shivering.

 I closed the book, and couldn’t stand it anymore. I left the book there in the library, and left with my husband.

 All of a sudden I came back to my senses, and now I dwell in the land where words reside. I am wondering how a moment brought in so many memories reminding me of the book that I started to read but was unable to finish.

Clarity reside in our own minds. Stay aware, stay present and stay connected.

~~payal~~

 

#MondayMusings

Change #MondayMusings

Gurgaon, 2016

 

I try to keep my life simple with less drama and more learning.

Change, it’s the only constant and it’s reliable. Be it in life, in the places we inhabit, our thoughts, the patterns created, or in the way we interact! I allow changes in my life though they are challenging. Slight changes can make great differences.

 I reflect back at my life, and find many situations where I felt the need to change. Sometimes, we need to stay strong, wipe the dust, clear the haze, erase the negativity, ignore a bit, and move on with faith.

Change involves risks, and taking risks has become a habit. It has always been beneficial in one way or the other. Change for the good is always welcome.

~~payal~~
MondayMusings

Pauses and reflections

Gurgaon, 2015

 

This morning, I had a lot to write about, but then I started to procrastinate, slowly all my thoughts vanished in thin air. I feel, I’m in the middle of the sea, and I don’t know how to swim across.

Ah! Now I’m at the mercy of my words, sitting here just thinking where they will lead me. Do I really care? Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But yes, I know, there is nothing to worry. I will reach somewhere.

Maybe, they will take me to the shore, or they will drown me, or who knows if I will be left plainly surprised in the end.

What do I write about? I wonder, and many confusing stories start building up inside my head. I try to simplify. The more I try, the more I fail. I don’t give up. As a result, slowly I get involved, and become a part of it all.

Ah! This age is catching up, and mood swings are common. We all go through this phase. Some speak up, some quietly fight with it.

Sighing, and wondering, here I am, again, sitting and counting syllables in words.

~~payal~~

#MondayMusings

Dear Diary #MondayMusings

Gurgaon, 2015

Dear Diary,

As I saw you, many memories of yesteryears stirred within. How I wished to write a diary once, but there was a fear, always! What if, someone reads it? (Ofcourse, I know, most of us feel like this.) Afterall, we don’t want to tell everything to everyone.

..and then came a time when I met you. I started sharing my everyday life spilling ink on rough pages. Slowly, you became my habit.

I always felt you, talking to me.

With time I realized, that you were done with my talks, the pages got over, and you became a reflection of my early years.

You know me as I am. Being true to you, was being true to myself. You were my only companion, my best friend. Do you remember, I always said, past is best forgotten? I believe in it still.

I met you again, today, with new pages.  With a lock this time. Do you know, some locks are too easy to open?  Look at yourself. You know it well, but we humans live in this complicated world, and deny simple things. Wish I had some secrets to share. Oh yes, I have lessons that I have learnt. I shall share them with you. One by one.

 Time flies. People change, and habits too, but somethings, I still believe, never change. Our perception changes, and we start looking at things differently.

I know diaries don’t have feelings. We make the pages alive with our stories. It’s we who get attached to them.

~~payal~~

 

P.S. To be true, I never felt the need of maintaining a diary. Eversince, I started writing poems, I have used my diary for poetry writing. Thank you, Deepti. Your gift inspired this post.  I shall use this diary as an art journal. 

#MondayMusings

Look up

There is lot of goodness in this world that we tend to ignore amidst all the negativities that exist. Wake up in the morning, start reading the newspaper, and there you are! Most of the times, trapped in the possible circle of negative emotions.

One negative thought create the ripples and head starts spinning in the whirlpool of emotions as panic, stress and chaos tries to add a little more to the already mishandled situation. One after another thoughts rush in, you try to escape, the more you run, the more they chase.

Sleep seems distant, peace too far away.

But then, in that moment,

Take it easy, surrender, sit back and relax!

Situation can’t be changed but there is always an option to handle it with care, with positivity, with faith that everything is fine.

Finding positivity in the worst situations always helps to lessen the impact of the situation, no matter how worse it is. With that thread of positivity, hold on to hope, and make a way forward. There is nothing to fear.

I remember, my mother said once, “Whenever I get some problem, I thank god for not making it worse.”

I realized, children always learn from their parents. They observe their parents and their methods of dealing with situations, and that leaves an impact on their lives. The way they grow, the way they look at things.

I believe that every problem has a solution. We never get any problem that we can’t handle. Every situation can be handled in the light of love and care. It’s good to stay grateful, for it makes us stronger and gives us the ability to deal with it.

A few days back I read an article written by my daughter on optimism. After reading her thoughts online in her school journal, I was already on cloud nine.

In the evening she went for her lawn tennis class where she fell down while taking a shot and was badly hurt.

“I’m sorry! It happened because of my shot.” Her friend with whom she was playing a match said to her.

“No problem, it was a great shot! Why are you sorry? I couldn’t take it properly and slipped on this cemented ground.” She said with a sporting spirit.

“Please go back home and get some medication!” Her coach and other friends suggested after looking at her broken tooth and bleeding gums.

When she came back home, she had tears in her eyes. She was in pain but tried to control herself and told the whole story as we applied turmeric on her wounds before taking her to the doctor.

“She’s a brave girl! Thank God, nothing much happened. The way she fell down, it could have gotten worse.” Her dad had said.

We rushed to the doctor where she was given some medication.

“She’ll be fine in a few days.” Doctor had said.

"Some work has to be done on her tooth once she recovers."

Next day, while looking in the mirror she winked and asked her dad, “So, what are the plans? Is it going to be gold or a silver tooth?”
We, as parents, couldn't help, but smile.

She told me, “Don’t worry, I’m your daughter and I am strong!”

This time her inner strength was tested.

Though she can’t talk properly, can’t have her meals, and she can’t smile for now, but lighter environment, her will power and optimism is helping her to heal.

Look up to life that awaits you.

 

This post is written for housing.com #Look Up

Winter

                                                                                                                       2014 image, Sec 50, Gurgaon



 

Is it my vision that is getting blurred or is it the effect of winter? I often ask myself as I look around, in this season of change. There are some mornings when the Sun refuse to rise, frost pricks the skin, so deep, that the blood freeze. Some pains are unexplainable. In this silence of the morn, I walk in the depth of this dense fog, and try to wipe the haze that had settled on the mirror. Cold waves engulf me. I keep walking with faith, holding on to hope. Life goes on..

~~payal~~
WW#65

Always.. # Day 29

                                                                                                                              image 2014, Gurgaon

 

 

They ask me

what does joy mean to me,

I say

it’s his presence

That fills me with love.

They ask me

what does love mean to me

I say its his essence

that I feel.                                  

Intangible.

They ask me

what do I treasure most

I tell them

It’s our story

Of finding bliss.

They ask me

what is bliss

I believe

The moments in which we create

Memories-

ageless, timeless,

Concealed, revealed,

I tell them honestly,

It’s all about loving unconditionally.

~~payal~~

#OctPoWriMo Day 29

Magic #Day 25

 

 

                                                                                                                                           2014 image,Gurgaon

 

Captivating spirit

Of a fascinating belief

Had a magnetic effect

That pulled me

Towards it then...

Life is magical

....and it still does unfold

Mysteries of the

silent moments,

Now.

I still believe in miracles.
~~payal~~

Fears

I have my own set of fears.

Fear of acceptance, fear of rejection, fear of hurting, fear of haunting, fear of getting lost, fear of sickness, fear of losing my loved ones.  

 I fear everything that stops my flow!

fear, fear, fear!

Fears engulfed me, and one fine day realization dawned.

Negativity fades away, and there is nothing to fear.

 As I take a step back and look at it, I understand it better. When our minds are weak, we attract all the negativity from all the spheres. Like many people, I fear the unknown for some experiences are not pleasant.

What I learnt?

Fear is a shackle of negativity that stops me from moving forward. Thoughts create ripples. My fearful thoughts are the acts of self- sabotaging. One fear leads to another.

Initially, there is nothing to fear.

So here’s my prayer..

Today, be with me, O’ Lord, as I begin again, to make my world of dreams, more beautiful, more worth it.

Today, be with me, O’ Lord, as I begin to think of my journey, as I begin again with nothing on mind.

Today, be with me, O’ Lord, as I begin to pack my grudges, my fears, and embark on a journey with a forgiving heart.

Today, be with me O’ Lord, and help me as I begin to live my life fearlessly.

~~payal~~
 Blog carnival- 1

Pathways

                                                                                         2014 image, Panchgani

 

 

 Some pathways emerge silently, pull us and make us walk on them. They lead us to unknown yet known world. Every step takes us a thousand miles deeper into the land of uncertainty. We never know what awaits us. I don’t like to travel, but sometimes I feel it has become my destiny. Wish I could time travel and make my journey a little shorter. Alas, there is no short-cut towards destination.

           ...and here I am again in this moment fighting with anxiety as I try to figure out the vicious circle that holds me trapped  in the chains of uncertainty.

~~payal~~

what's on his mind?

                                                                                                                                 2014 image,Mahabaleshwar

His eyes speak with such intensity,

I freeze in the moment.

He stares blankly.

His piercing gaze

Makes me think
and I wonder.

Everything that contains nothingness,

Is that nothingness everything?

Everyone called him Babu. We met him on our way to Mahabaleshwar temple and he became our guide. I learnt one thing. It's always good to ask for directions when we have no idea about the place. Guidance is always available. We need to trust and walk in faith.
~~payal~~

My city is burning

Today my heart is saddened by the state of my city where I was born and brought up. My city is burning. The places I used to visit frequently has turned to dust. Innocent lives are being claimed. Tremors of terror can be experienced in every voice.

I fail to understand why people fight in the name of religion. No religion teaches inhumanity.

That piece of land , they say, it belongs to you, dear lord.

Then why this bloodshed?

The fumes smell of the sweat and the blood of those people who had put in their years in establishing themselves. It’s all ashes. Work is workship, they say!

A piece of land that took away the peace of the city. My city is burning!

Everybody is suffering. No exceptions!

Wouldn’t it have been better if they built a school and made it a place of service

where kids from different religions would have come and learnt the lessons together while having fun?

I believe in you dear God, but know not your form. You call me and I come to visit you in temple, church, gurudwara or mosque. People tried to stop me, but no matter whatever people say, I follow my own religion of humanity.

May peace prevail!

~~payal~~
 

Inspiration

                                                                                                       2014 image, Goa

There I found my inspiration wrapped in a small red feather lying on the sand, gasping for breath. Unnoticed, stomped and crushed. The walkers were busy talking to each other, failing to recognise its' sufferings.There was so much to learn.

From where did it come? Did the bird leave it there for remembrance? Who coloured it? Was it a sacred omen? That moment became special. I tried to weave a story with thoughts strewn in a distinct pattern in my mind's cave.
~~payal~~

Day 3 UBC
 

climate changes

Some raw thoughts blend together. Some salty,some bitter,some tangy,some sweet. Different flavours of life add to this mix and create chaos. I try to relax but it makes me more restless.Sometimes,life is like a busy road.Too much noise,blinding dust,roads and the rush,hurried footsteps.Some memories rush in.I ignore.A teardrop rolls down.I wish not to immerse myself in the depths.Nothing is clear.Nature is wearing a veil today and now,in this moment,quite quietly sunlight enters the room and fills me with its warmth. Life changes.I try to breathe.
~~payal~~

 100 words on Saturday#12

Peace

Come,

Let’s walk in the sun.

Alongside the roads

Where life pays

 for each breath.

 

Come,

Lets spread some happiness.

On crossroads.

Where the life

stops and merge.


Come,

let's enter  their world

With kindness and compassion.

Keep your hearts open.

There is so much to learn.

 

 

 

She is Sr. Soraya who is so fond of her geese. :) We met her when she used to take care of the kids who were mentally challenged, each with a distinctive quality of their own.

“Their parents don't want to keep them.” We could feel it in her voice.

You should have seen how her eyes twinkled when she spoke of their pain,and the pleasure she got in helping them.

One day she told me that she was getting transferred to an old age home in Old Goa.

                                                          *************

We went to meet her one afternoon. She introduced us to sister superior.

“She is Sister Fatima. She is a nurse too and takes care of our inmates.

....And sister,they are our friends from Caranzalem.” We felt connected to her the moment we met her a few years back on our daughter’s birthday. Love just flowed. 

These sisters are taking care of their inmates who include old women and old nuns, a few ducks,hen and geese, some dogs,a dove that sadly went out and was eaten up by stray dogs,a parrot, beautiful flowers and old trees of Adam fruits and Chikoo. They have a vegetable garden too in the backyard.

She took us to the chapel.It was beautiful! She said, “You know,it’s not our house. This house you see, is a property of the archaeological department that has neither abandoned nor takes care. The department that is least bothered about the maintenance of the place.”

“The tall ceilings, and the doorways are so difficult to clean. And repairs?Forget about them. They stand there with pride and the dust accumulates.” I thought.   

 “It’s so difficult to reach them.” She said with her graceful smile.

**********

We had a sneak peek into their world. They took us upstairs in a room full of positive vibes. A Bible in a corner, a flower vase, antique furniture.

“We have our timings here. Time to pray, time to eat, time to sleep.”

Sister Soraya served us fruits,biscuits and soft drink. Sister Fatima joined us in the conversation and told us about her experiences as a nurse in a very small village that was too far from the city. “No medicines were available there. If I gave them crocin,they got better,no matter whatever the reason was,they healed themselves with faith. There are no strangers there, only God sent angels to share their pain.”
She told about the tales of deliveries she handled, all alone, in absence of medical facilities. She told about a young boy who accidentally got hurt and came to her all in blood and how she stitched his deep cut with regular needle and thread. It was her kindness and love that cured them.

You must visit her once. Her smile heals.

*************

They told us about the grass beads that they use for prayers.
 “It’s so costly. We get it from Calcutta. He’s the only supplier.”

They showed us the places we never had thought of visiting otherwise. Sister Fatima took us to a window,which they called their secret place from where they saw the four hundred year old ruins that stood against the changing weathers while a part of them was shattered.

*************

We came back with a promise to meet them again soon.
 “God Bless You.”
They said with their warm smile that reached our hearts. We felt blessed. Really!

 *************
~~payal~~
all images are taken at St. John of God, Old Goa.

A sand castle

                                                                                            2013 image,Baga beach,Goa

A sand castle, artistically built with imagination, invested time and collective efforts of cheerful youngsters, while creating memories of happy days and carefree life, comes crashing down as they demolish it within no time before leaving their city of dreams that they built so passionately. As if they didn’t want anyone else to enjoy the beauty of their imaginary world.

Who knows, how life would unfold for them. Years later, they might be standing in the same place, slightly changed, reviving, reconstructing and recreating their memories.

Observing them from a distance, I wonder why the creators destroy their own creations.

~~payal~~

100 words on Saturday-6

A good deed..

                                                                                           The photo prompt

  
While Aarush went to collect the gifts he had ordered, Sapna and Tim went to the sweet mart to get some fresh snacks and sweets for kids at orphanage. Tim asked Sapna to buy a cheese sandwich for him. While he was about to eat, he saw a small girl, dressed in rags. He gave his sandwich to her. He wiped his hands with tissue and threw it in dustbin.

Sapna: “You did a good deed Tim. I saw you sharing your sandwich.” 

Tim: “Mom, why do people waste food? I saw so many plates with food in the dustbin!”

~~payal~~

writetribe.com/100-words-saturday-2014-3/