Sunday

It's Sunday again. It's the first time, I hear of a death, and I'm not bleeding tears. Am I in shock, or have my tears dried up? I ask myself, "Why is it?" Some answers are simple. Maybe I've evolved beyond life and death, as my Guru said once,"You have become a divine soul.You are now attuned." I couldn't believe. I know, I'm just a human. I feel a lot!

A few minutes ago, a friend shared a video, of a homeless lady, amongst the migrant workers, seventy years old, who lost her husband, beaten up by her son, whom she took care, and was thrown out of the home, wanting to go to another son, whom she knew would throw her out too, for her children thought that she was mad. I heard someone say, "Thank God, she has a new family." I felt like saying, "She's a mother! If it's convenient enough, to live with lost faith and love, I hope she survives in a new family, and the pain doesn't affect her."

 But I kept quiet. I knew, I'd be misundertood, amidst a bunch of people who were busy cracking jokes. .

 No, I am not that serious kind. I do crack jokes too. We're taught to write humour in a bad mood. My mother taught me, "There's a time, and place for everything." Maybe, she meant for death too, and she chose my place. It was Sunday, and I cried a lot! ~payal    

Love letters

                           
 . Now tell me, from where do I bring all that love to write love letters to "my imaginary you," and how do I write the replies when I don't even expect to hear from you. Do I even know you? . So, now tell me who are you? and you want me to be true? I don't have time to write letters Call me, I'll spare moments few. . What would you say, what would you hear, How do I know, Will you make it clear? . I don't write letters now a days It takes a second to make or break Relations happen in just a click Ego is high, and love at stake. . Oh yes! Love is overrated these days, Words might create misunderstandings Patience is lost, and expectations more, Then tell me how would I deal with it? . I don't want any mistake to repeat. Let's not write about vows, and promises to keep Best friends often topped the charts, Everything else took the back seat. . Maybe, some other day, some other time, If you write to me, I'll write to you. With trust and understanding, we'll build a relation new. Starting with dearest, and ending with love. But I doubt in this era, Would love rhyme with dove? Whom should I write love letters now? I wrote a few to him then. But, he is my husband in the now, And face of love has changed. . Ah! it looks better now, There's no cold war going on, Why should we write letters now? Era of letters has long gone. ~payal

P.S. Thanks to Nikhat for prompting us to write love letters along with the replies. Check out the other parts too. Gratitude.
*********
Teenage turmoil
"Hey, I designed this paper with the new set of pens that I bought specially for writing to you. I read your words again and again, and I can hear you speak from behind them. Everytime, I remember you, I pick up the letter and you start talking to me. I purchased a collection of poems, and one of them I offer to you. P.S. I found a girl, who stays next to my house! She's beautiful and true."

 written, erased, trashed, all that was meant to be said.

"Hey, Not again! Anyway, congrats! I hope your love story goes a long way! We'll party when we get to catch up! How is she? By the way, I saw this movie XYZee. So, what else is new at your end? I too read a poem that would blend."

 " Hi, Catching up with life. Every word smells of you. I wish you were here. She is fine. A little busy though. Yes, our poems rhyme."

 "Hi, I saw you that day in the market. Wanted to tell you, you know that guy, he proposed to me, and seems quite serious. What do I do, would you tell me?"

 Written, erased, trashed all that was meant to be said,
"Hey, follow your heart, it knows it right. P.S. I found another girl. Nothing really happened. Don't go."

 "I'll have to."
****************
 Years later..
 "Love often does that"

"Tell me how to address you? Tell me, why do I feel those butterflies in my stomach when I see you, and my heart beats faster when I hear your name? Tell me why do the mornings bring the fresh scent of your breath, and when the birds sing, I recall your name?"

"Love often does that. It picks you up and helps you rise. Well, being too much into someone makes you insane. I live in your heart, down the memory lane."

 "Tell me why when you held my hand, it was all calm and quiet? Tell me why when we met, a thought crossed my mind, and strange quest did arise? Tell me why all the answers we found suffice, and why that thought of first kiss brings a sweet smile?"

"Love often does that. Well, in togetherness the purpose of life is found, and everything falls in place. In absence of words, gestures speak. Let love overflow and let it heal."

"Tell me why in a negative situation, I miss you when the Sun rise? Why do your feelings for me I feel without looking in your eyes? Why do I initiate a conversation instead of heaving a sigh?" "Love often does that. Just like offering water to the sun, brings in positive vibes. Love, It just wants to see you smile."
 ~payal

"Love and hate" #NaPoWriMo #Day30

A few days ago,
 while scrolling the profile
 of a newly added friend,
who happens to be my neighbour,
 accidentally, my finger touched
the playnow button.
 Ah, these facebook games.
 You can also know
 how many people hate you.
 A little in shock with the count,
 as well as amused,
after taking the screenshot,
I clicked try again,
 and kept repeating
 till everyone loved me.
 Now, there was no hatred.
 Before I could share,
 I gave it a thought.
 What do people think of me?
What's there deep down in their hearts?
What would they think,
 what would they say,
 how will they react, if at all they see?
 But then, should it really matter to me?
 Self love is equally important.
 Reasons for hatred, kept floating in my mind.
Doesn't it all depends on me?
 It was all about my perception,
 my idea of love and hate,
 and the way I interact,
 with different people, differently.
 When you stop pleasing people,
 and live a life of your own,
too many people start hating you.
 Haters are those lovers,
 who want to be like you.
 So, Love me, or hate me,
I shall just continue
 BEING ME. ~payal

"Life" #NaPoWriMo #Day29

It's been more than two months,
I couldn't find courage
 to enter the room,
 where you stayed,
almost isolated,
for your own safety,
 for a month
after open heart surgery.
 I saw you recovering.
 We lived, we laughed,
 we played together,
 for a few months,
 We saw those days
 full of positivity,
and then you left
all of a sudden, silently.....
A welcome note
stuck on the door,
is still there.
 Home carries your essence.
The aroma of garam masala,
 made in your guidance
still add flavour to the meals.
 Your words, mantras, life lessons,
I have saved them in my memory.
 Mom, how I miss the stories
 you told for every
 single thing we said.
 Presence and absence,
 How do we understand this?
You are present in our hearts,
From our home you are absent.
Memories still linger on....
 In pauses between breath,
 One moment you are alive,
Another you are dead. ~payal
#tsl 

"Reminders" #NaPoWriMo #Day28

I wished to write a flowery tale
Tale with beauty surrounded by green
Green that soothes and calms the mind
Mind that is engrossed in deep thinking.
Thinking of flowers, butterflies, and bees
Bees that suck nectar and also stings
Stings remembered as swollen reminders
 Reminders of nature, of every being.
 Being in the moment, when I begin to feel
 Feel the feelings while catching notes
Notes that float in the cottony clouds
 Clouds that now come down as rains.
 Rains that drenched the Tulsi flowers
Flowers that bloomed and dried again.
Again, in the midst of summers heat
Heat that burns the soul blue
 Blue as words churned from sea
 Sea that exists within every being. ~payal
#TSL #fb 

The queen of hills #NaPoWriMo #Day27

Walk on the roads,
 steep slopes, shops,
 statues, murals,
 view of the valley,
the sunset sky,
the lady sitting there,
wrapped in shawl
with a pleasing smile
 in front of fire, roasting maize.
Memories just rush in,
 and wrap me in its warmth.

 These are the days,
when I visit the queen of hills,
In the foothills
of the Himalayan range,
that holds the magnificence
of mother nature in her curves. .

 Just a glance, calms the mind,
with a soothing feel, nurtures
and replenish the soul. .

The chilled drops, cold air,
 scattered maple leaves
on the ground,
Red, yellow, green,
Ah! Such is the beauty of the roads.
 The black railings with roses embossed,
 add up to the scene. .

Ropeways take us to the Gun hill
where our favourite spot awaits,
aroma of tea and pakoras
 fill up the place.

Wild Dahlias on the hills,
blooms and sways.
The Deodar, and Pines
 mesmerize
 all along the way.

 It makes me wonder,
 How the same place
 gives a different feeling
 each time.

 It rained that day,
Under the umbrella,
 You and I,
 and our beautiful dream.
We came back relaxed,
and rejuvenated
 though I missed meeting
 Ruskin Bond everytime. ~payal   

"Echo" #NaPoWriMo #Day26

"Places you can find love,
it sits around lurking in places."
 a signboard read,
 as I crossed the hurdles.

As I sat on my window sill,
A sparrow came and sat nearby.
A strange quest in my mind occurred
queries soared in the blue sky.

The sparrow listened to my monologue,
Agreeing with its chirps in between,
"Places like the piercing darkness,
that grows deep under the skin?"

"Yes, it feels like you are confined
in a prison of molten bars,
Falling into oblivion, submerged,
in a river, counting invisible scars."

Seeking those places to find love,
Closing my eyes, driving the indigo,
 the sparrow came along on my journey,
 I planned alone though.

The twists and turns, the narrow roads,
 Deep dense forests, and waterfalls,
to reach that place where love resides,
I made my way, I crossed it all.

Intuitively, the mind map guided,
and I reached the place that was dark,
Shadows surrounded, I gathered pearls,
Courageously, I crossed that mark.

There I saw the dawn, in silence,
and then gleefully called my name,
The mountains, valleys, greens, and blues,
Echoed back, I was never the same.

The sparrow chirped,
I opened my eyes,
We then exchanged,
a few sighs.
 ~payal

"Window" #NaPoWriMo #Day25

Window opens the poet's heart,
 and the poet's heart get its wings.
It flies far, in search of nuggets,
crossing the hurdles, it gently sings.
It gathers the soil, silt, and rocks
 flowers, thorns, and misty dust,
 It blends, merges, and purifies,
Thoughts and words it must.
 Filling it all with expressions,
 It gently reaches the mind,
Poet then puts it on paper
and covers the window with blind. ~payal

"Window" #NaPoWriMo #Day25 #1

 "Wind" in window
 blows my mind.
"Wow" in window
cheers my heart.
 "Widow" in window
 reminds me of her pain,
"Now" in window,
 Drops of rain. ~payal 

"Muster Chef" #NaPoWriMo #Day24

I hooked at him
 with a straight face
 and sad, I have to rite a poem
 Full on hoomar..
I say to the Musterchef at play
He cooked at me,
 and laughed out loud
 say in
 Hooman life is hoo-man-gas these days.
 No work, and no play,
Only coo sins from far away.
He dished it rite
and blue my mind
top ping with hoomar
the fool day. ~payal

 I somehow managed to come up with some humour. Much needed in today's time. Grateful that husband just wants me to keep going during NaPoWriMo, and reach the finish line.
Yesterday, being a little rough day for me, with his support I managed to write. Today he gave me the starting line. Gratitude!

"Mirror" #NaPoWriMo #Day23

I stood in front of the mirror,
face pale, smile missing,
 eyes contained oceans.

 I sat in front of him,
 His words reflected me
in the most desirable tones.
Mirrors never lie.

In his words
 I gained strength.
 In his words
 I found myself.

 Taking a deep breath,
 again, I looked in the mirror,
understanding the chaos,
 and smiled,
 feeling more confident,
more loved,
more at peace.
Yes, mirrors don't lie.
~payal

Happy Earth Day! #NaPoWriMo #Day22

Man, a piece of art,
Carry baggage of past,
 ignores the present,
 and worries about future,
 finding himself incomplete,
 It's his nature.
He often forgets
 he is one with the nature.
 He contains it all..
 the passionate fire,
 the breath of invisible air,
 the solid earth,
 the flowing water,
 and the infinite ether.
 He's complete
 in all the sense.
 He forgets bit by bit,
 his life fades,
 his existence dissolves
 in the elements.
 Gradually
what he do and say,
 the story of his journey,
 is left behind as legacy.
 Right here, in the now. ~payal 

"Prayers" #NaPoWriMo #Day21

 Sacred encounter
 with the consciousness
 once gave a clue,
that the God lives within..
 me and you.

 Engrossed in our thoughts,
At times, silence speaks,
The universe listens.

 Sometimes, words uttered
 with all our heart
 becomes a prayer.

 With love and faith,
acceptance seeps in,
 He keeps us in his care,
 A life in gratitude,
is a life in prayer. ~payal  

"Where art thou?" #NaPoWriMo #Day20

 A swarm of busy bees
Never hovered around
 my poetic flowers,
 I smile and wonder,
Where are you now?
Readers O' readers
where art thou?

 I try to write
with all my heart
But words abandon me.
Where are you now?
Readers, O' readers
 where art thou?

 Peeling the layers
of heartfelt existence,
 I wish to connect,
Where are you now,
Readers O' readers
Where art thou?
 Poem goes into oblivion,
at the end of the day,
 In absence of genuine readers
who are here to stay.
Where are you now,
 Readers O' readers
where art thou?
 .
My heart fills with gratitude
 For those who are here,
 to show they read,
 with their like, love, comments
 I try to be sensible now.
 Tell me O' readers
 Where art thou? ~payal

"We are all mad here." #NaPoWriMo #Day19

 I read a few tales, and went to sleep,
Locked down in these corona times,
The Cheshire cat appeared in my dreams,
 and gifted me some rhymes.
Far from the maddening crowd,
 safe in my house, on my mat,
No pied piper can take me out
Said the little pesky rat.
 "Was he quarantined?"
 "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind."

Locked down in my home,
 Nowhere to go.
Frightening darkness
stark, deep, thoughts,
got stuck at the door
There and then,
The Raven came,
 "Nevermore".
"Tell me", asked the pesky rat,
"Where can we go?"
 He kept quiet and looked around.
"The answer my friend is blowing in the wind."
 Just then they spotted
 the Cheshire cat,
who in his tone uttered,
 "If you don't know where to go,
does it really matter?"
Stay at home, have cheesy food, and cranky talks
 but no Long journeys, and silent walks.
 The rat squeeked again,
"When will it end?"
 and looked up with trust.
"People don't like going back, 
even when they must."
 Saying this the Cheshire cat
was nowhere to be seen,
 "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind." Sitting on the chair,
admiring the flowers,
 It all seemed like a fairy tale.
 looking at the greens around,
Intrigued, they made their sound.
 "When will we meet"?
 "Let's go within."
You have wings to fly O' Raven,
"It's maddening, when will we be free?"
 The pesky rat questioned again,
"In this world, we're all mad here"
The Cheshire cat reappeared sane.
Will it all be as it was,
 Or will it all go down the drain,
They found it was time to introspect,
The Raven kept saying,
 "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind."

"Blue butterfly" #NaPoWriMo #Day18

       A blue-butterfly came from far away land
After smelling the flowers, it sat on the palm
Then flew past the majestic shells in the sand, Embalming sight kept the calm.
 Carrying the sky-flakes in her wings
 It brought along the joy of spring.
 Blooming flowers, and dreams anew
 Enchanting was this butterfly blue.
 Unmatched, raw feelings rose,
 Unmixed, pure, with spring in feet,
 Seasons changed, in hearts so close,
 Watching with love, was a visual treat.
 Intricate patterns, delicate flakes,
Gave wings to my imagination,
A blue butterfly crossed the lakes
to reach the desired destination. .
 As the wheel of time turned,
Thoughts transformed in a distant land
With the blue butterfly, I learned
Life, it's just like wonderland. ~payal  

"Forgiveness" #NaPoWriMo #Day17

Forgive..
with an open heart, 
and receive joy and happiness
 that is bestowed upon you
 in abundance.

 Forgive...
 because when you are at peace,
 it all makes sense.
 That is the nature.

 Forgive..
 for you don't want to be
 a part of the situation.

 Forgive..
 for it's the beginning
 of spiritual evolution.

Blessed are the ones
 who forgive and move on.
 For holding on to grudges,
 blemish the beauty of the soul.

 I erase hundreds
of spoken words
 By the end of the day,
Hurts, pain, mistakes,
for I understand
when I forgive,
 I am forgiven. ~payal 

What it takes #NaPoWriMo #Day16

 Do you know what it takes
 to compose a poem,
 in the world of words,
that touch the hearts?
 Here I am,
writing, and contradicting,
effortlessly,
 a palinode in making.
 I rarely remember,
the words I write,
as not all days
 are the same.
 My mind wanders
 through the Red desert,
with scanty thoughts,
 like shrubs,
and finds an oasis.
 The unlimited efforts,
 put in through
 the sleepless nights,
 helps me to
climb that mountain.
 Backhanded clouds,
my inner critics,
tried to manipulate
emotional outpourings
but pure intentions
 helped me
to get determined outcome.
 Do you know
what it takes
to compose a poem? ~payal 

Illusion #NaPoWriMo #Day15

Here's to the book of life,
A journey of a flower,
 Illusion : a line of horizon.
from where I see.

 Sunset hues sprinkle
all over the sky,
As the Sun sets,
 and the moon shines
 in all its glory
 lingering words of wisdom,
 and promises, kept and broken,
keep resonating
 till the night descends.

 Jars full of pickles,
 Earthen pots on fire,
Smell of the earth,
paper boats,
 and flying airplanes
 from one room to another,
flashes of memories thus.

 Lighting up the dark chambers,
 Hands full of pleasure and pain..
Friendships fostered
in lovers paradise..
The homecoming.
Is it the end
or the beginning? ~payal

Inspiration #NaPoWriMo2020 #Day14

 Inspiration drives in
 through several doors,
if we unlock our hearts
 and stay open,
 to receive the gifts
 that are waiting..
for us to unwrap. ..

 Poets from the yore,
and the living legends,
 all have a lot to share.
 These guiding lights
 help us to grow and keep
our imagination bright. .

As we keep moving
 on our path,
we find the critics
whose advise if followed
gives shape to our thoughts,
 and turn them
 into masterpieces.

 It's heartbreaking
 to know the ones
who asked me
to start writing,
and be original
 were the ones,
 who lost their way. ~payal .