Its amazing..how we come across life’s most complex situations and how we resolve them...How a question appears out of no where and how we find the answers..God definitely has his own ways of revealing the answers to our queries..We just have to trust His ways!Right from my childhood,I was in a habit of talking to myself! ..I can’t let go anything till the time I don’t reach the root of it!
I simply used to sit and contemplate.I used to feel so connected to myself..But then life is never the same..For some time I got distracted with the reasoning mind, the victim mentality and ego issues!I got carried away with my emotions.. But these things are momentary and doesn’t last forever..As soon as I thought that I had enough,I reclaimed my sense of self again..!
One night I had a dream ..Sight of someone (I don’t know who) gave me immense pleasure! It was so blissful..I was dancing in the rain..The following day,Everything was so new,The day went so happily,everything seemed to be in place,so peaceful,so full of energy!But the same night when I slept,I had a dream..`` There were floods..Me and my family went to offer some help to the victims..While returning back a lady came upto me and looked worried..with her two kids dressed in rags..She was conversing so well in English language,her voice so clear.. Continuously she kept on asking my name and then she said “Remember,Death is of three types..The first one is....’’!!!And Oh!My alarm bell rang and she disappeared and I woke up..with the question lingering in my head..What was she trying to tell me?As usual, I went for a walk with my husband.But the day was not the same as it was the previous day..I was so full of grief...tears were running down my cheeks!He listened to me very carefully, The whole of my day went in gloom..That question was lingering on..It seemed like I experienced the extremes of happiness and sadness in these 48 hours..
Months later a friend asked me if I would like to learn Sudarshan Kriya if they arrange for it in our society."Lets see if the teacher is ready to come and teach us..” "Meditation!One word that filled me with fear..Fear of the unknown..and made me upset.. I have my limitations,I have my boundaries and most of all its not necessary that its going to have same effects on me! ”
I never understood the mystery of the people who communicate with me in my dreams..This time I was sure I need my answers to my unknown quest.. My questions made me say Yes..!
First day was ok with few good words that we all know..The only thing I liked was the sight of Jesus while contemplating/Meditating !But amazingly my teacher didn’t put off her mobile phone in silent mode and it rang! I couldn’t concentrate thereafter..Next day,I thought I’ll get my answer because whatever I heard about Kriya was enough for me to expect an answer..Soon after the Kriya,I felt calm and peaceful, The teacher asked ``How was it?’’ I tried to avoid words and nodded my head to the question..She forced me to answer and I simply said it was good..I was watching you..share your experience with others..Ah!Such silence is golden,How could I explain it?
Next day my head started spinning .. Maybe it was not the right time for me to get the answers..I already had started facing the after effects of Kriya..My anger! Ah! Most of all I had almost left my home bare foot when my husband managed to stop me somehow..The unbearable headache and the pull within right from the centre of my brows! It looked like a deep pit..The feeling of purity was so high that I didn’t feel like touching anyone or anything and vice-versa!And one day while relaxing after the Kriya,my maid rang the bell..I felt as if someone has given me a terrible shock!My hands and legs shivering!I told my husband that I am going mad! When I came back to my senses in 3-4 days, I stopped taking Kriya as meditation and took it more like a breathing excercise..Slowly,I came back to normal and continued with my simple prayers and stopped doing that Kriya..!It was an unbearable experience..and to be true ,I didn’t understand it!
I told about my dreams and the reason that I joined Sudarshan Kriya to many friends..but no one had an answer to what that lady was trying to tell me..Day by day I was getting more curious about that lady..Then one day I surrendered and let it go..Answers come with time!
I am not too much into reading, Not a member of any library but two months back, hurriedly, while I was going to visit a friend, I met another friend on the staircase..She said that she’ll be going to the library along with another friend but they were not sure how they’ll go.Without much thought I said that I’ll come along ."Let me know whenever you plan to go!’’ Three days back that friend called me up and asked me to come along...I had heaviness in my head that day and almost fell while doing my Puja.. My husband gave me a cup of coffee and a bread slice..I felt better..
I thought my B.P was very low right since morning so called her up to tell her that I won’t be coming instead I asked her the time when we’ll leave..Maybe because I told them that I’ll take my car and they had planned accordingly..or something precious was in store for me..
I went with my friends..One of them was busy at the registration counter and another friend and me were discussing the same effects after meditation and Sudarshan Kriya..She attended the session with me..
Another friend had come by now and we went on the first floor of the library..The central library,its too large,with thousands of books well placed in the book shelves..As soon as I stopped at a place to check some books,a voice guided me,Turn left and you’ll find your answers..and as soon as I turned I saw a book on the table,lying there,torn and tattered..black cover and the name flashed “Kundalini”..I had never heard of this word before..!My heart was already beating so fast..but that book had some sort of magnetic effect and it was pulling me...Gazing my eyes on that title, I hesitated but moved towards the book..As soon as I picked it up,I went numb..I pulled the chair and opened a page randomly instead of checking the index or the back cover as I generally do!..Lo!There was my first answer..The answer to the question I had been discussing with my friend a few min. back..I found it interesting..But I was filled with curiosity the way it happened,but then, abnormalities are quite normal for me..Some books happen to you and this was one such book !I had some sort of sacred feeling while holding that book..I surrendered and knew somehow its going take me for a ride..I am not a member of that library so I thought of writing down the name of the book and the author,but I didn’t feel like leaving the book there without reading it..I got that book issued on my friends card..While reading the book I felt some serious shifts..I don’t know exactly what all it was..but I had experienced it after a long time! Sometimes there are some rare books that give you rare experiences..
While reading the book I found most of the answers..even the answer to the enigmatic conversation with that lady in a very dramatic way..As usual ,I opened my net and thought of that question..The same voice said,"Try google..”And let me make myself clear..that was a male voice!Though I had googled the query before but I didn’t get my answer..This time I found it,Most probably someone wrote a blog!!And it is something related to Bible..!I still have to read the stuff again with complete understanding..though somehow I feel that I was getting disconnected with my own self for past few years and that lady had come to rescue me and remind me the way I am! Too far away from the preachers and specially the so called counsellors and psychiatrists who I always knew would never have been able to help me..I trusted my husband and close friends at some point or the other.. a strong believer of the fact that answers lie within us and they’ll be revealed to us when we have grown enough to understand them..!
Few incidents,I recall after reading the book..My grandfather had a very peaceful death and he asked just before leaving his body to keep offering prayers to goddess Bhagwati..My parents told me that I saw that a few people had come to take my grandfather and he went in a golden chariot and it was glowing all over! I don’t remember anything! But a vision I described as a kid just studying in KG not aware of birth and death..was it my imagination? I am so happy my family handled my madness and still they do!!!!This book gave me a great experience! My life moved like a film..every moment ,every person I met, is connected to the other..
Its such a relief when we get our answers!But the quest for the greater truth continues...! I hope,I won’t forget the way back to my home again! I rest my pen here with complete understanding of the prayer.."Thy will be done,On earth as in heaven!"
Thank God for the angels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I shall soon paint the first few images that appeared in my mind while reading the book..They were all black and white!Just like the cover of the book!Mysteries of our complex brain!
~~payal~~23.03.2012
P.S. The first image is the pic of the book cover..The next two pics I've sketched are exactly the same as they appeared to me..
-28.03.2012
One night I had a dream ..Sight of someone (I don’t know who) gave me immense pleasure! It was so blissful..I was dancing in the rain..The following day,Everything was so new,The day went so happily,everything seemed to be in place,so peaceful,so full of energy!But the same night when I slept,I had a dream..`` There were floods..Me and my family went to offer some help to the victims..While returning back a lady came upto me and looked worried..with her two kids dressed in rags..She was conversing so well in English language,her voice so clear.. Continuously she kept on asking my name and then she said “Remember,Death is of three types..The first one is....’’!!!And Oh!My alarm bell rang and she disappeared and I woke up..with the question lingering in my head..What was she trying to tell me?As usual, I went for a walk with my husband.But the day was not the same as it was the previous day..I was so full of grief...tears were running down my cheeks!He listened to me very carefully, The whole of my day went in gloom..That question was lingering on..It seemed like I experienced the extremes of happiness and sadness in these 48 hours..
Months later a friend asked me if I would like to learn Sudarshan Kriya if they arrange for it in our society."Lets see if the teacher is ready to come and teach us..” "Meditation!One word that filled me with fear..Fear of the unknown..and made me upset.. I have my limitations,I have my boundaries and most of all its not necessary that its going to have same effects on me! ”
I never understood the mystery of the people who communicate with me in my dreams..This time I was sure I need my answers to my unknown quest.. My questions made me say Yes..!
First day was ok with few good words that we all know..The only thing I liked was the sight of Jesus while contemplating/Meditating !But amazingly my teacher didn’t put off her mobile phone in silent mode and it rang! I couldn’t concentrate thereafter..Next day,I thought I’ll get my answer because whatever I heard about Kriya was enough for me to expect an answer..Soon after the Kriya,I felt calm and peaceful, The teacher asked ``How was it?’’ I tried to avoid words and nodded my head to the question..She forced me to answer and I simply said it was good..I was watching you..share your experience with others..Ah!Such silence is golden,How could I explain it?
Next day my head started spinning .. Maybe it was not the right time for me to get the answers..I already had started facing the after effects of Kriya..My anger! Ah! Most of all I had almost left my home bare foot when my husband managed to stop me somehow..The unbearable headache and the pull within right from the centre of my brows! It looked like a deep pit..The feeling of purity was so high that I didn’t feel like touching anyone or anything and vice-versa!And one day while relaxing after the Kriya,my maid rang the bell..I felt as if someone has given me a terrible shock!My hands and legs shivering!I told my husband that I am going mad! When I came back to my senses in 3-4 days, I stopped taking Kriya as meditation and took it more like a breathing excercise..Slowly,I came back to normal and continued with my simple prayers and stopped doing that Kriya..!It was an unbearable experience..and to be true ,I didn’t understand it!
I told about my dreams and the reason that I joined Sudarshan Kriya to many friends..but no one had an answer to what that lady was trying to tell me..Day by day I was getting more curious about that lady..Then one day I surrendered and let it go..Answers come with time!
I am not too much into reading, Not a member of any library but two months back, hurriedly, while I was going to visit a friend, I met another friend on the staircase..She said that she’ll be going to the library along with another friend but they were not sure how they’ll go.Without much thought I said that I’ll come along ."Let me know whenever you plan to go!’’ Three days back that friend called me up and asked me to come along...I had heaviness in my head that day and almost fell while doing my Puja.. My husband gave me a cup of coffee and a bread slice..I felt better..
I thought my B.P was very low right since morning so called her up to tell her that I won’t be coming instead I asked her the time when we’ll leave..Maybe because I told them that I’ll take my car and they had planned accordingly..or something precious was in store for me..
I went with my friends..One of them was busy at the registration counter and another friend and me were discussing the same effects after meditation and Sudarshan Kriya..She attended the session with me..
Another friend had come by now and we went on the first floor of the library..The central library,its too large,with thousands of books well placed in the book shelves..As soon as I stopped at a place to check some books,a voice guided me,Turn left and you’ll find your answers..and as soon as I turned I saw a book on the table,lying there,torn and tattered..black cover and the name flashed “Kundalini”..I had never heard of this word before..!My heart was already beating so fast..but that book had some sort of magnetic effect and it was pulling me...Gazing my eyes on that title, I hesitated but moved towards the book..As soon as I picked it up,I went numb..I pulled the chair and opened a page randomly instead of checking the index or the back cover as I generally do!..Lo!There was my first answer..The answer to the question I had been discussing with my friend a few min. back..I found it interesting..But I was filled with curiosity the way it happened,but then, abnormalities are quite normal for me..Some books happen to you and this was one such book !I had some sort of sacred feeling while holding that book..I surrendered and knew somehow its going take me for a ride..I am not a member of that library so I thought of writing down the name of the book and the author,but I didn’t feel like leaving the book there without reading it..I got that book issued on my friends card..While reading the book I felt some serious shifts..I don’t know exactly what all it was..but I had experienced it after a long time! Sometimes there are some rare books that give you rare experiences..
While reading the book I found most of the answers..even the answer to the enigmatic conversation with that lady in a very dramatic way..As usual ,I opened my net and thought of that question..The same voice said,"Try google..”And let me make myself clear..that was a male voice!Though I had googled the query before but I didn’t get my answer..This time I found it,Most probably someone wrote a blog!!And it is something related to Bible..!I still have to read the stuff again with complete understanding..though somehow I feel that I was getting disconnected with my own self for past few years and that lady had come to rescue me and remind me the way I am! Too far away from the preachers and specially the so called counsellors and psychiatrists who I always knew would never have been able to help me..I trusted my husband and close friends at some point or the other.. a strong believer of the fact that answers lie within us and they’ll be revealed to us when we have grown enough to understand them..!
Few incidents,I recall after reading the book..My grandfather had a very peaceful death and he asked just before leaving his body to keep offering prayers to goddess Bhagwati..My parents told me that I saw that a few people had come to take my grandfather and he went in a golden chariot and it was glowing all over! I don’t remember anything! But a vision I described as a kid just studying in KG not aware of birth and death..was it my imagination? I am so happy my family handled my madness and still they do!!!!This book gave me a great experience! My life moved like a film..every moment ,every person I met, is connected to the other..
Its such a relief when we get our answers!But the quest for the greater truth continues...! I hope,I won’t forget the way back to my home again! I rest my pen here with complete understanding of the prayer.."Thy will be done,On earth as in heaven!"
Thank God for the angels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I shall soon paint the first few images that appeared in my mind while reading the book..They were all black and white!Just like the cover of the book!Mysteries of our complex brain!
~~payal~~23.03.2012
P.S. The first image is the pic of the book cover..The next two pics I've sketched are exactly the same as they appeared to me..
-28.03.2012
![Write Tribe](http://<div align="center"><a href="http://writetribe.com" title="Write Tribe"><img src="http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab92/CorinneCR/6743bc0c-f84c-4b75-b2aa-82bafb353f8e_zps485e2995.jpg" alt="Write Tribe" style="border:none;" /></a></div>)
"Its such a relief when we get our answers. But the quest for the greater truth continues." Very well said, Di. The quest for the greater truth continues forever.
ReplyDeleteGopal..Thanks bhai!:)
DeletePayal... This sort of intense spritual experience comes from some inner voice. Our mind is very old. Not a product of one lifetime .May be what you experienced has been transmitted to you from the minds of several life time. I really dont know . But one thing for sure the sages advocate of secrecy, that is not to share this experience with many people who wouldnt understand your feelings .
ReplyDeleteThank you so much dada..!Your words help me grow!
Delete